Sex

One of the major goals of this ministry is to help people glorify Jesus Christ which is not possible without a healthy relationship with God. With that in mind, I believe God puts subjects on my heart to help in areas of our lives that people struggle with and that get in the way or our relationship with Him.  Sex, being one of the most influential aspects of our lives (whether we would admit it or not), is one of those subjects that God has led me to include on this ministry site. If you are able to fill in the missing letters in this lyric “And when I get that feeling, I want  s _ _ _ _ l  healing” and are aware that this song was incredibly popular in America based on Billboard music charts, then you understand what I am talking about.

Influences of sex and lust surround us daily and are things we cannot simply ignore. While sex is something that is usually uncomfortable to talk about with our children/parents and even taboo to talk about in a lot of churches, it still remains a major aspect of our lives that must be considered. This leads us to the challenges we face with sex in our culture, how God really intended sex to be part of our lives, and the consequences of making the wrong choices.

Now days, you cannot turn on a television, flip through a magazine, listen to a radio, or even walk down a street without hearing or seeing some type of sexually engineered advertisement or form of entertainment. The old adage “sex sells” really proves itself when you think about how modern America gears these things. The situation this creates is constant temptation to think and act lustfully, and we are forced to guard our thoughts and actions without rest.  How easy is it to give in and allow our minds to run wild with all of the beautiful imagery and people around us? How easy is it to accept sexual intimacy between un-married individuals when we see it on television daily, all probably know friends and family members who are doing it (no pun intended), and maybe even have parents or children that are in and out of intimate relationships outside of marriage. Simply put, it would be very easy to just accept it and live our lives in the same manner, but in doing so, we would damage our relationship with God. How can we expect for God to draw near to us and us to Him if we live in habitual sin? How can we bring glory and honor to Jesus when we don’t even have a healthy relationship with God the Father?

God has created the desire and longing for sexual intimacy within all of us from the beginning, and that longing and desire is not a bad thing! Scriptures from the Holy Bible that describe God’s plan for marriage and sexual intimacy include Genesis 2:18-24, “Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (NLT) Anything different from this perfect model is not part of God’s design or plan for our lives. Even to allow our minds to indulge in lustful thoughts is considered adultery in God’s eyes as described in Matthew 5:27, “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (NLT)

So what can we do to protect ourselves from the constant bombardment of sexual temptation? The bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, “But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (NLT) There you have the answer, do not deprive your spouse of sex unless it is agreed upon for a short time for the sake of prayer! In other words, we should strive to be caring and attentive to the sexual needs of our spouses to not put them in harms way from temptation, so long as it does not interfere with our relationship with God. I sometimes wonder how many fewer cases of adultery, divorce, and addiction to pornography there might be among Christians, if we were to follow this one simple principle.

So what can we expect to be the result of us living habitually in sexual sin? A damaged and un-fruitful relationship with God at the very least would be the outcome.  We could not hope to build our relationship with God or bring honor to Jesus in living this way. Also, God ensures us that he will correct us when needed in Hebrews 12:5-12, “And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.” (NLT) You must begin to ask yourself if a broken relationship with God, the inability to honor Jesus, and the discipline from God Himself are really worth the temporary pleasures of this world.

In conclusion, we have all fallen at one time or another to sexual or lustful temptations. Even if it was only in our mind, it was counted as adultery against us by our perfect and just Father in heaven. King David was described as “a man after God’s own heart” and had great favor from God, but he still fell into lustful temptation leading to adultery and even murder. As a confession, I tell you that I myself have fallen into lustful temptation with a woman. About 10 years ago, after being married more than 10 years, my wife and I both had been neglecting many areas of our relationship including sexual intimacy. As a result, when temptation came I was not strong enough. This is something I am both ashamed of and embarrassed by, but I hope in telling you this that someone will realize they are not alone in their struggle. Even those we think are closest to God struggle like everyone else. I am so thankful that God was able to heal my marriage and make it stronger than ever, but it was a costly lesson to learn rather than to be obedient to God’s teachings from the beginning. No one is immune to the temptations of this world, but it is how we decide in our own minds to respond to these temptations that will set us apart. You may have failed many times before, but stand up and make yourself strong! For the sake of your relationship with God and to bring Jesus the glory and honor he deserves, I plead with you to consider your actions. May God help us face and conquer our struggles with sexual and lustful temptations each and every day, and may we bring glory to God in doing so, in Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

(Posted: April 2016)